Last weekend I had the privilege of playing at a friends wedding in Italy. I opened the set with my single Strange Affection and by this time I had my guitar back, and was no longer trapped in a car with a jet lagged Australian. The journey to the wedding was way funnier in retrospect. Most things are though right?
I left London for Italy – my guitar did not. I then proceeded to ask staff at the airport where it was. Not with words cos no one spoke English and my Italian is pretty poor. I used an assortment of mime and dance. Air guitar with some unco leg moves was enjoyed by many waiting for their bags. 3 hours of mime later and my guitar shows up – taking it’s good old time on a few flights behind mine. Needless to say, the kiwi, the indian, and some guy from Aussie who were waiting for me weren’t impressed.
We’re supposed to be at our hotel by 10pm (a mere 2 hour drive from the airport). I guess pulling up at 3am the next day was enjoyable….to the invisible person in the back seat who didn’t travel with us. Four of us start the journey jammed into a small car in the parking lot. I’m holding my bag, a rice salad, a fork, and a sat nav. The dudes in the back are holding the sat nav cord, a bunch of paper and my guitar. The driver can’t figure out how to get outta the car park.
Once we’re on the road the boys fight over where we’re going and change the sat nav directions so many times they start to fight. ‘give me your phone’ ‘no use your own phone, your directions are crap’ ‘I need a cigarette stop the car’ and other such things which are pertinent to the survival of the human race. One offers amazing comments to the female driver like “I’m surprised you haven’t stalled the car yet”. Then he calls his girlfriend and says “we’re up a gravel road somewhere in Tuscany, where are you guys?”.
We’re been driving for AGES in the dark and eventually come to a toll booth. The driver pulls up so far away from the ticket dispenser she has to get out of the car to collect it – then she just stands there. She’s so tired she forgot to get back into the car. By this time I’m the designated DJ and have to trawl through all the stations trying to find a song in English. Most of the time I’m hearing “you’re such a bad DJ, oh my god pick a normal song, what is this we’re listening to”. I DON’T KNOW COS IT’S IN ITALIAN – NOW SHUTUP IN THE BACK.
Finally we find where one of the boys is staying and his mates come to chat with us at the car. They’re all boozed and think they’re giving us directions to our hotel – but what actually comes out is “oh my god we just totally got told off by the owners. we’re being too loud.” Thanks, we’ll type that into sat nav.
The wedding was amazing. Perfect day for the perfect couple. Congratulations Nils and Leanne!!